You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
