My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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