BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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