just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
it's like iHOP with fire
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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