i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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