i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
