I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
