I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I need to sanitize my soul.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
