Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
