What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
