Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize