I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
