remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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