in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
