Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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