I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
