Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
