I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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