I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize