what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
