Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
