They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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