i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
operation harelip BJ is a go
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize