Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
