How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
