Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize