My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
