I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
