I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
