i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
