So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
