we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
