Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize