Where is the hickey?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
