Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The power of my boobs compel you
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize