just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
