I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
