Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
