He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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