just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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