she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
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