You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize