I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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