is your mom at the bar?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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