no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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