well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
