Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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