His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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