A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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