so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
