you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
