I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
