wakey wakey hands off snakey
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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