that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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