Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
