K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
just tell him i said nine months
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
