i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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