i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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