its not stalking. its research.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
