nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
