and you said cock pushups were impossible
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
