I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
40s are totally the cure
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
