she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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