come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
