There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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