some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
