dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
